IT'S OK NOT TO BE OK
Mental Health is defined as a level of psychological well-being, or an absence of mental illness. Now the term ‘mental illness’ sounds pretty scary, and could be why the whole topic has been such a taboo subject. Until now. Mental illness is infact any condition that affects your mood, thinking and behaviour, including depression, anxiety disorders, eating disorders and addictive behaviours. Sound familiar? I can confidently [and sadly] say that most people reading this will probably have suffered with some sort of mental illness in their life. The good thing is that it is becoming easier for people to talk about it and get the help they need.
I first started becoming aware of this term many years ago, when someone close to me was suffering from severe anxiety. Through his journey of dealing with it, we discovered a charity called R U OK? which aims to remind people to speak up and talk to people if you are feeling down - basically saying that asking for help is ok.
R U OK? Event I co-hosted in Kerala, India
I never thought I suffered from a mental illness - I actually took the role of support for that person instead of looking at myself to see if actually I needed help too. Looking back now, I’d say I was definitely suffering from a mild form of anxiety at times, but as the happy times most definitely outweighed the bad I didn’t feel the need to seek help. It wasn’t until the breakdown of a significant relationship prompted me to look at my mental health. The change in circumstance and the loss of a loved one unfortunately sent me on a downhill spiral where I experienced some intense lows. Of course, I tried to battle through, [feeling ashamed to admit that I was feeling so low] until a few scenarios lead me to ask for that help. And it was the best thing I did.
I started with a course of counselling – which consisted of sitting in a lovely lit room with a therapist and just talking, about anything and everything. Before I go on I must say that everybody is different, and something that didn’t work for me might work for you, and vice versa. Although I managed to take some positives from the sessions with my counsellor [some traits in my personality that I hadn’t recognised], I found the process in general quite upsetting. I would walk out of the session more distressed than when I went in. But it felt good to be in control of at least trying to fix my headspace.
After months of trying to battle on and trying different things to reset my mind to no avail, my doctor decided to prescribe me with anti-depressants [with fortnightly doctor appointments to check up on me – this is important as I think a lot of people think Doctors prescribe medication willy nilly]. Hearing the words ‘you are clinically depressed’ was a very upsetting moment for me – for anyone that knows me they know that I’m a happy, outgoing person. But it also gave me a new sense of hope that I could find a way out of the hole I was in. Because that’s what it felt like I was in - a very deep, dark hole that I couldn’t climb out of. Some days I’d be ok, but others I would struggle to feel any sense of positivity or want to even start my day. I was always dubious about medication for depression, but the way I now look at it is that a mental illness is no different to any other illness you may experience, and if you get medication for lets say diabetes then why can’t you get medication for your mind? It’s all part and parcel, and the healthiness of your mind is just as important as the healthiness of your body.
The medication I took is used to increase the levels of a mood-enhancing chemical called serotonin in the brain, therefore allowing you to feel more balanced if you are experiencing severe lows. For the first few weeks I had some fairly strange side effects, including headaches and, more weirdly, a gurning sensation. This soon passed, and after a few months I started to notice a chance in my mood. I did feel more balanced, the intense highs and lows seemed to have gone, and I no longer felt so lost. Everything got a little easier, and I got a little happier day by day.
It’s now been just over a year, and I’m no longer on the medication. It was never a long term thing for me, but something that I found incredibly useful to give me that helping hand to help me make sense of situations and to ease the emotions that were causing me to feel so down. This form of treatment may not be for everyone, but the overall help that I got from my Doctor, combined with the many things I did personally, including the help and support from my family and close friends, helped my mindset hugely and although it has taken nearly two years it feels amazing to feel back to normal again, and actually happier than ever.
We live in a world where our lives are portrayed on social media in a certain light [I am guilty of it of course], and what is going on behind closed doors can be very different to what you see on Instagram, Snap Chat etc, but you never know how someone is truly feeling or going through. Remember to ask the question, R U OK? You might help someone more than you will know. And if you are feeling down, or anxious, or stressed, remember that this is normal, you are not alone, and talk to someone - it could change your life.